Beware the Urge to Compare

Genesis 30:3-6

Then she said, “Here is my slave Bilhah. Go sleep with her, and she’ll bear children for me so that through her I too can build a family.” So Rachel gave her slave Bilhah to Jacob as a wife, and he slept with her. Bilhah conceived and bore Jacob a son. Rachel said, “God has vindicated me; yes, He has heard me and given me a son,” and she named him Dan.

Rachel mistakenly thought her barrenness was due to disapproval from God and the community, so she tried to manipulate a boost in her own self-worth by giving her maid-servant to Jacob to bear a son. In reality, her barrenness had nothing to do with her worthiness as a wife or a woman, rather a part of God’s individual plan for her. Why could she not be happy with the love and favor she had from her husband? After all, this is what Leah truly wanted. Could she not be happy for herself and for her sister? Her insecurity drove her to compare and compete, which hindered her happiness.

When we compare ourselves to others, we miss learning to appreciate ourselves for who God made us to be. Jealousy and envy are sure to arise in the places where we feel we are inferior to someone else, disabling us from seeing the value God has placed in us. Trying to manipulate a blessing in an area where God is not working will create only a temporary, shallow substitute for that which only God can fill in us. He has already given us grace and favor in Christ, who promises us living water that will permanently satisfy. Unless we drink from His well, we will feel the need to manipulate again. 

Stop comparing yourself to others. Life is not a competition, and you will only destroy relationships by blaming others for your own insecurity and trying to become vindicated in an area where you were never judged. Be who God made you to be, and develop the gifts He has given specifically to you. I can’t sing worth a flip, but if I compare myself to Carrie Underwood and think I can never accomplish anything unless I sing like her, I will never rise to accomplish what God has planned for me. 

Spend some time with God today thanking Him for the gifts He has given you and the plan He has for your life. Jeremiah 29:11 assures us His plan for us is good. If you aren’t sure what your gifts are, just ask Him to reveal them to you. Accept the way God made you, and know that He will bring forth glory in your life according to His plan and His timing. Why settle for a temporary substitute or makeshift blessing when He has the real thing for you? God values you and has a wonderful plan for you. Don’t let the success you see happening in someone else’s life prevent you from discovering it.

Have a blessed day!

PHOEBE Connections, Inc. is a 501(c)3 dedicated to enhancing the lives of widows by building relationships and helping them find new identity in Jesus Christ through serving others. We promote an atmosphere of fellowship, where the widow can connect with other widows to develop friendships and supportive relationships. 

PHOEBE Connections does not provide professional counseling. We are simply women who are engaged in the journey of widowhood and have learned from our experiences to look to Jesus Christ as our provider and sustainer

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